


Imaginary

by NepetaLeijon27



Category: Bakemonogatari, 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
Genre: Crossover, Established Relationship, M/M, Non-Binary Chuuya, POV Second Person, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-04-05 23:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19050664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NepetaLeijon27/pseuds/NepetaLeijon27
Summary: A strange being starts causing chaos in Yokohama, killing random people at night. The Armed Detective Agency and the Port Mafia work together in order to exterminate the being, in the hopes of letting peace return to Yokohama once more. Little would Atsushi know, that this case would overturn his life.





	1. Prologue in Heaven (Atsushi)

When you return to the office, you see that everyone has stopped working.

'This weekend, I took so many pictures of Mii-chan! He's really photogenic, you know?'

'Show me!' Haruno was showing Naomi several photos of the Agency's beloved cat, while at the other side of the room, Ranpo was trying to make the other Tanizaki laugh at some of his jokes.

'I don't think you know this one. Two dogs are walking in a desert, and-' _But if I believe Tanizaki's face, they're pretty corny_ , you think. You take a quick look and spot Dazai annoying Kunikida again, Kenji taking care of the plants, and Yosano telling Kyouka all about the different kinds of hatchets she wields. It is a cacophony of voices, yet it brings a smile to your face. Late afternoon is usually like this, you know, because everyone is done with the paperwork around then. You silently grab your stuff and check out. No one notices it, because they know you leave around this time.

You open the door to your house and walk in. _But the best thing at the end is going back to a place you can sleep in without worrying about a thing_ , you think. You hear a voice from the living room.

'Ah, you're home.' It's Ryuu.

'Yeah...', You thow your jacket on a nearby chair in the hallway.

'You don't have night shift today?'

'I haven't.', he says. 'Things have been calm recently.'

You don't know how to react. 'That's...nice, I guess?'

'Well, if it's calm now, it can only mean something's going to happen soon.', You walk to the living room and sit down. 'But let's not dwindle too long on that.' _Right, let's not think too long about it_.

'I've made us some tea.' Ryuu closes his eyes. When you drink the tea Ryuu has made for you, you feel a sweet but painful nostalgia no one can understand. That it was over and that this day would never come again. That's all. And a strange feeling of immortality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a short prologue; the following chapters will be longer than this.


	2. Atsushi

'You're late.'

Kunikida doesn't even look up from his document when you come back that morning.

'I'm sorry, Kunikida. I'll get to work right away.' You immediately sit down at your desk and start up your laptop.

'Did I miss anything?' you ask, just to be sure.

'Not really.', Kunikida says. 'No.' With that notion, you continue your filing report from yesterday.

After a few hours, you almost fall asleep doing your work. Kunikida's stern voice in your head keeps you from doing so. But then…

'This is an emergency. Get to the briefing room, now.' The President suddenly walks in and urges you all to drop whatever you're doing. Even when saying such a warning, he keeps a calm voice.

'What is the emergency, President?' Dazai looks up, as the clerks stop typing. Kunikida stands up, ready to go to the briefing room.

'I'll tell you there.', he keeps his eyes shut. 'This is your last warning.' With that, Dazai stands up and starts walking towards the briefing room, and you obediently follow him.

When you walk towards the briefing room, you hear your colleagues speculating around you.

'What could this emergency be?'

'I don't know, let's hope it doesn't involve gangs.'

'What's wrong with gangs being involved?'

'Everything.'

A few minutes later, everyone has arrived in the briefing room and Fukuzawa has started his talk.

'I have summoned you all for an incoming emergency.', The screen behind him hums to life.

'Someone or something is causing problems at night since a few nights already.', He gestures to the screen, showing a vague silhouette.

'Is there really no clearer picture of it?', Dazai raises his hand. 'With this, I doubt that even the Eyes of God could-'

'That's the point.', Fukuzawa says. 'The something or someone is a split-second blur on security cameras at best. All we know is that they're only active at night and kill people. These are some of their victims.' You can see that Ranpo is already searching for possible connections between them.

'How did they kill them?' you ask. 'I don't see any wounds on their bodies. Poison?'

Fukuzawa shakes his head. 'That is also a mystery. It just seems like they suddenly dropped dead, as in a heart attack or something like that. Take a look at this.'

He shows you and the rest of the Agency a short part of footage made by a security camera. It isn't much: just something quick flashing by at a passerby, who drops dead after it.

'This...doesn't really tell us anything new, does it?' Kunikida says after having watched the short video.

'The Mafia seized this footage and gave it to us.', Fukuzawa explains. 'It came in this morning.'

'The Mafia? So the killer has been causing trouble for the Mafia too?' You think back at the Masked Assassin incident.

'Apparently, they did.', he goes on. 'They wouldn't elaborate. But I can guess why they care.' Fukuzawa slams his fist on the table. You and your colleagues are hardly fazed by it.

'This will be a coordinated effort to catch this killer. We and the Mafia will work together in this.', He raises his voice again.

'And, you may have guessed this, that does mean that all three forms of Soukoku will need to come in action again.'


	3. Akutagawa

Night falls over Yokohama, but this is not a time for you to sleep.

'We're on position.', you speak through your phone. 'We're ready.'

For this night, you and Atsushi are stationed in the port destrict of Yokohama. Fukuzawa and Mori are at the business district, while Chuuya and Dazai are currently located at the boulevard. This is all part of the plan to catch the mysterious assassin.

'So, we can now see where the others are, right?' Atsushi looks at your phone.

'We should.', You tap in some stuff, and turn your phone so that a map is visable. 'There it is.'

He leans even closer to see what's on the map.

'This is where we are.', You point to a bright red circle and a bright blue circle close to each other. 'That's where Chuuya and Dazai are…', You then point to a dark blue circle and a dark red circle. 'And that's where Fukuzawa and Mori are.' The last two circles on the map are dark green and purple. All circles are segmented, to look a bit like a target. Atsushi nods, then looks at you.

'So, if the killer appears again, we'll at least have someone in the area, right?'

'Yes.' Prior to the mission, all six of you swallowed a pill that would act as a receiver. As long as it's inside you, your circle would appear on the map.

A few hours later, you start to get bored.

'Looks like our killer is catched up with our patrol tonight.', you sigh. 'Everything's calm.'

Atsushi looks at the map. 'No one moved.', he notices. 'So I'm assuming there's nothing over there too, and-'

He suddenly breaks off his sentence in the middle of it as he grabs his head.

'Atsushi?', You turn around. 'Is everything okay?'

He doesn't respond. 'Hey.', You forcefully pat him on the shoulder. 'Answer me.'

'N-no...', Atsushi mutters. 'I've suddenly got this fierce headache…'

'Go home, then, and take an aspirin. I'll be sure to inform the rest.' Atsushi doesn't hesitate and runs home. You pick up your phone.

'Yeah, boss, it's me. I'm just calling to say that Atsushi suddenly got a headache. I've sent him to go home and take an aspirin. He should be back in a moment.'

Mori immediately responds. 'Okay. I'll inform Chuuya and Dazai.' He then ends the call.

You decide to keep track of the light blue circle on the map.

'He's going home like I said...', you remark. 'But does it take so long to take a simple aspirin?'

When he finally leaves the house, you breathe out in relief. 'He's coming back. Phew.' You almost wondered if Atsushi couldn't find the aspirins for a moment. Your eyes keep glued to the light blue circle as you see that Atsushi seems to take his time.

'So, Atsushi's taking a touristic route across Yokohama to get back to where I am?', You squint. 'He should know his way in Yokohama by now...' Before you two got married, you made sure to date Atsushi in various places scattered across Yokohama. Not only because you liked it, also because you hoped he'd be a more aware of where everything in Yokohama was.

That's why you decide to call Mori again.

'It's me again, I'm sure that you've seen that Atsushi is not returning to where I am.'

'Yeah, what's with that?', he asks. 'He's not lost, is he?'

You shrug. 'I don't hope so.'

Fukuzawa takes over. 'Sorry for taking over so suddenly, but we're talking about my subordinate now. There's nothing happening here, so we'll get to where you are. We'll regroup, so stay where you are.'

Although Fukuzawa is not your boss, you obey and say: 'That's alright.'

They are faster than you recall them being. Chuuya is visibly annoyed that they haven't ran into the killer yet, and Dazai raises the suggestion of Atsushi having spotted the killer.

'You think he's currently chasing the killer?' Fukuzawa asks as you're all following the blue circle on the map.

Dazai nods. 'I wouldn't expect anything less from Atsushi.'

'You always said that he's a better subordinate than me.', You clench your teeth. 'I guess you're talking about this.'

'Look over there.' You point. Chuuya looks, and sees that you pointed to two dead bodies.

They pause, halting the group. 'Hey, look over here for a sec.' They say, and the others also see it.

Dazai kneels down. 'This one is identical to all the others. Spotlessly clean.', He then moves on to the other. 'But this...' Dazai touches the wrist of the victim. '...is a suicide.' He reveals two marks of a knife. Said knife is lying next to the other wrist of the victim. 'Can't miss. You know, suicidal people often kill themselves by slitting their left wrist because most people are right-handed.'

'Ah, the suicide-expert is speaking again.', Chuuya looks away. 'Could've expected that. But eh, that's strange. Do you think they killed themselves because they didn't want to die at the killer's hands?'

'Dunno.' Dazai shrugs again and walks out of the alley.

The further you chase the blue circle, the more bodies you encounter like the ones before. Most of them are in dead-end alleys, and about half of them are suicides.

'This is new.', Fukuzawa remarks. 'It's twice the amount of victims as from before.'

'This could only mean that Atsushi is indeed hunting down the killer now.' Chuuya looks at Fukuzawa, who nods again.

The blue circle finally comes to a standstill. 'I thought he'd never stop walking, seriously.' You shake your head and sigh. 'He's gotta be somewhere around here.'

On that cue, the others start looking around them to see where Atsushi could possibly be.

'I don't see him anywhere.', Fukuzawa says. 'But you're right. According to the tracker, he's supposed to be around here.'

'Wh̶͜a̷̡t̨ ҉̕͠a̶҉ ͠n͞͏̕i͞c̕e̵̡ ͘͜ŗ͏e͟u̡ni̸̷ǫ̵ņ͞.̛͞'

You suddenly hear a voice from above, making you look up.


	4. Akutagawa

'You...!'

There is someone sitting at the rooftop of the building next to you. _no one would notice it if you would die_

'Atsushi?'

You recognize him, although he looks very different now. _just curl up in a ditch and die_ His eyes have a cat pupil in them, and he is wearing the bare minimum - a black sleeveless, loose-fitting unbuttoned vest, and it looks like he is wearing a ripped version of the pants he normally has. He's also barefoot. _you dont belong in this world_ He still wears his tail-like belt. _it is all painless_

'What the hell are you doing? Why are you dressed like that?' _you know that right_ Fukuzawa tries keeping his voice down, in order not to wake the neighborhood. _come on do it_ 'And why are you sitting on the roof?' He's certainly not afraid of possible police. _you have rashoumon right_ But he's not answering any of your questions, frustrating you. 'I ͏̨̛do̶͜͠n̵'t ͡h̷͜a҉v͡e ̕ti͢m͜e͞ t͏o̧͘ ͡st̴̛i͢c̡k̷̷͜ ̶ar̕o҉u̡͝͞nḑ̸͟ ̵̡o͏҉̴r̸ to͟ ̴̡͠pļ͘ay͟.' _then cut your throat with it-_

'Agh! Why am I getting these...voices in my head!' When you look around, you see that Chuuya is having a hard time too.

'What's wrong with you two?' You faintly hear Mori's voice behind you.

'Stop...this!' you cry. Atsushi(?) is still on the roof, but not for long. 'I̶̢͝ ͞d͢҉ơ̷n̕'t̕͏̵ ͢͜d̶e̴͏ąl͟ ͜͡w̵i̡͜t̵̛ḩ̵̕ ̸͡y͝͏o̸͝u.҉ ̡W͠h͜҉a̧͟͜t̵̕'͝s̴ ̵̨̕t͞he̵̡͟ ͝c̴͢a̡̢t͢͞c̕͠h̢̕͜?T̡͘͠o̧͜͠o͟dl͘͡e҉s̵͢!͏̧' And he runs away.

'Dammit.'

That's the first thing you utter when he's gone. Chuuya looks at you.

'You got those things in your head too, right?' they ask. You just nod.

'What thoughts?' Mori asks. You couldn't say anything to Mori because you could barely hear him above all those voices.

'When he appeared, I suddenly voices in my head saying I should kill myself.', You look away. 'Saying that I should just have Rashoumon slit my throat.'

Chuuya nods too. 'Same here. 'Why not die with Corruption' they said.'

Fukuzawa and Mori look at eachother. 'We and Dazai were not affected.', Fukuzawa says.

'Which must mean that…' Dazai glances at Chuuya. '...it only works on those with a simple mind.'

'That's right...', Chuuya says before getting what Dazai says. 'Hey! You take that back!' They grab Dazai's shirt.

While the middle generation of Soukoku is bickering again, you turn to Mori.

'So Atsushi(?) is the killer...half of the victims may have killed themselves because they were physically assisted to do so.', You move your hand to your chin. 'But not everyone. Only I and Chuuya were affected. So Atsushi(?) killed the other half via the other way we've seen.'

'A great analysis of the situation, Akutagawa.', he compliments you. 'That's part of what's going on.'

'But what do we do now?' you ask.

'We retreat. It's almost day.' Fukuzawa starts preparing to go back, making you turn tail too.

'Yeah, let's do that. I've had enough stuff in my head for now.'

* * *

When you wake up, Atsushi is next to you.

'Hey...you awake?' You gently poke his arm.

'...yeah. Haven't got the will to get out.' He sighs.

'Do you know what happened yesterday night?', You want to know if Atsushi remembers anything. 'Just tell me everything you know.'

'Well...', Atsushi sharpens his throat. 'We were outside. Waiting for the killer to come to catch them. Nothin' happened. Then I got a headache. You said me to go back home so I did. I wanted to take an aspirin but I collapsed right before I could.'

'And after that?'

'I fell asleep.', he continues. 'Night work like you do is nothing for me.'

'What did you dream about?' You want to test him. It's not like you think he's lying; you just want to hear his perspective of the things that happened.

'I can't remember. Is there ever a dream you remember unless you write it down?' Atsushi raises his arms, then puts them back down. '...true.' _Great. Atsushi doesn't remember anything, or at least pretends to. How long has he been running amok_? You sigh.

At the end of the day, you see Dazai walking toward you.

'Dazai? Is this about Atsushi?' you ask. He nods.

'Yes. I want to decide the next course of action with you. You have not told him he is the killer, right?'

You shake your head. 'No, I haven't. He doesn't seem to remember it, even.'

'I figured.', Dazai closes his eyes, then opens them again. 'The Agency is briefed with the new information now. I withheld the information about the killer's identity to them as well.'

'So, what do you want me to do?' You are still confused as to what Dazai wants to say.

'It's almost night now. Atsushi's killer identity will come out again. Fukuzawa and I are going to seek him out. For that, I need you to give him the tracker again.'

'In his food?', You flinch. 'He ain't a pet!'

'No, not like that.', Dazai says with a smile. 'When he falls asleep. You should have enough time.' He hands you the tracker.

'And then?'

'You can't come along, obviously. The President and I want to know more, and I thought that he ran away because we were with too many yesterday night. So this night, only us two are going to confront him. Ask some questions.'

'Why?'

'Because I have a suspicion that's pretty shaky. I'm just looking for some evidence.'

'Okay...'

That night, you manage to give Atsushi the tracker the second you're sure he's asleep. You couldn't have given him it any second later: he immediately turns around, opens the window and jumps away. _It's in Dazai and Fukuzawa's hands from now_ , you know. It hurted to see Atsushi like that yesterday, and you partially thank the gods for not being able to be around him when he's like that - it hurts too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> His name being formatted like 'Atsushi(?)' refers to The Human Game, where Seth's name is formatted like 'Seth(?)' once...something happens. For the record, Atsushi(?) speaks like Darkiplier/Antisepticeye: as if his own voice is overlaid with a filter or something.


	5. Dazai

'There you are.' Fukuzawa is waiting for you in front of your house.

'Everything's set up as of now?'

'Yes. Let's go now.' You quickly grab your phone and close the door behind you. Fukuzawa opens the tablet, showing the same light blue circle somewhere on the map.

'There's one thing we can be sure of - he never stays in the same place for long.', Fukuzawa looks up. 'And now we've got to keep in mind that via the roof seems to be his favorite way of transport.'

'Seems like it, yeah.'

You keep following the blue circle. Or, rather, Fukuzawa is tracking the circle and you're walking behind him like a lost dog. Meanwhile, he takes the opportunity to ask a bit about your personal situation.

'Did Chuuya understand why you had to leave tonight?'

'Yeah, with the current situation, it wasn't all that hard to explain that to him-eh, them.', You quickly correct yourself. Chuuya hated to be misgendered, and even if they weren't there to punish you, you kept it in mind since it is a form of deadnaming. You know that Chuuya prefers they/them pronouns because of Arahabaki. 'It's just that they're still disappointed they can't confront Atsushi head-on, with the intrusive thoughts and all.'

Fukuzawa nods once. 'Knowing Chuuya, I'm hardly surprised.'

He comes to a halt. 'This is the place.' He comes to a halt. 'This is the place.' With knowledge of what happened yesternight, you both look up immediately. 

And there he is - sitting on the roof, like the police doesn't exist in this world.

'Lo̶ǫk̵s̵ ̶l̢i͘͟k͟e̵͢ ̶͜y͜ơ̕҉u̡ ̸̷f͝o͟u̵n͠d̴͘ ̨m҉͞e̷ ͡a̸̧g̡a͝in̶̷͟.' he speaks.

Fukuzawa instinctively reaches for his sword. 'Yes, we found you again. Don't worry, we're not going to turn you in or harm you in any way.' Fukuzawa says, as to prevent he'll jump away quickly. You see his expression changing to a 'Damnit, they can't be influenced. They chose their representatives wisely this time.' but you can only guess as to what he's thinking.

'S͞o̵̡͞,̴̨ ͘͝w̧h̴a̡t ̶i̸̧͜s̕͢ ͡i̧t͠?͘͟͠' Atsushi(?) looks away from you.

 'Why are you doing this?' Fukuzawa doesn't let himself falter for even a second, and he is sure to keep his voice calm and strict.

'To̶ st͟a̧͜͟y s̨͘t̸̢͜a͟b͠l͡e͡ ̶w̵҉he̴̢n̷͡ ͡i͜͞t͞҉͘'̵̴͝s d̷a̡͢͞y.̡', He shrugs. 'S̡͝trȩ͜s̨͡s.̡͢'

You look Fukuzawa in the eyes. 'I've never heard of such a motif.', you admit, then look back at Atsushi(?) again. 'So you're sort of a...Black Atsushi? I just hope you won't get cold with those… 'clothes'.' You make the air--quotes gesture with that last word, referring to Black Atsushi's almost bare chest and lack of any protective footwear.

'I҉̛'̨͡m̢͠ n̵̨o̴t̶̛ ͏̧h̵̛͜u̸m͢͡a̕͡n̷̵̕. ̢͞W͟h̕͢y͏ ̶͝s̡͜͡h̢͘͟o͢͠u͜͠ļ҉ḑ͜ ̴I ͏m͠͡i͘͏n͏͘d̢̢?͢'

That sentence drops like a bombshell. You once again look at Fukuzawa, but this time, he also looks at you with a similar, confused expression on his face. 'What do you mean you're not human?' You didn't even plan that question. It's a reflexive thing.

'I'm̶ ̧n͢͡o͟͏t͝҉ ͘A̶̷t͏͝sų͞s͜h̡͞i͏.'

'You mean that you're a different personality, right? Or…'

'N̢̕o͜t͜͡ ͡tḩ̵͠at͏ ͠e͜͡i͘t̷͘ḩe͜r̛.͞', Black Atsushi is starting to get impatient, you notice. 'I͞ w̡͞ą͢s͏n͠҉͜'̛t̕ ̡͠e҉̢͠v͝͝e͝͝n ̸͡A̡͏͜t̡͏s̵u͘͢s̶͡h̡͠i͡'̴̨s̶̕ ̡͟͡t͝͞o̶ ͟b̴͡e̵͢g͝į͘n ͠wit̵h͠.͟͝'

'What in three hells is that supposed to mean?' It was rare to hear Fukuzawa cussing like that. On that cue, Black Atsushi hops away, without even saying something again.

'Did that help?'

You can see that Fukuzawa tries going back to his calm self as you return.

'For as far as you can expect 'help' from Black Atsushi.' You squint. You didn't expect much cooporation anyway and you're happy with the few cryptic answers you have now.

'What's with that name?', Fukuzawa asks. 'You came up with it on the spot.'

'What else do we have?', You try your best not to speak too loud. 'We need to have a handy distinction between killer-Atsushi and his normal self.'

'Alright then. What suspicions do you have?'


	6. Akutagawa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somewhat shorter chapter.

You made sure to stay up in order not to miss Dazai's update, but you’re also watching the time closely.

'He's taking his god damn time sweetly, huh.', you sigh. 'He better not be deceiving me again.' Right when you decide that it was probably not worth it, your phone beeps. _A Discorpse notification._ _Why doesn't he just call you?_

 **abilityAbiotrophy** Today at 23:15

So I and Fukuzawa talked to him again. Atsushi said that he was not human at all and that he's in fact not part of him to begin with.

He's fairly apathetic as far as we see, and he says that he is doing this to relieve stress, to stay stable when it's day.

I don't know how much we can believe him, but it's the only thing we got as of now.

He didn't say more than that; his patience is still bad.

 **teramorphousAttire** Today at 23:15

why the FUCK are you messaging me here

why not just call

 **abilityAbiotrophy** Today at 23:16

I need my sweet time to explain everything to you.

 **teramorphousAttire** Today at 23:16

okay

better be somethin good

 **abilityAbiotrophy** Today at 23:16

I am suspecting that there is a so-called _sawarineko_ in town.

 **teramorphousAttire** Today at 23:16

a what now

 **abilityAbiotrophy** Today at 23:16

A sawarineko.

Or rather, a hindering cat.

A supernatural creature that's mostly known for draining life energy from others to survive.

 **teramorphousAttire** Today at 23:16

and youre suggesting that

 **abilityAbiotrophy** Today at 23:16

That Atsushi might have a sawarineko inside of him, since Black Atsushi claimed not to belong to Atsushi to begin with

 **teramorphousAttire** Today at 23:17

black atsushi being atsushi the killer?

 **abilityAbiotrophy** Today at 23:17

Yes.

The sawarineko is only active at night and I think it's taking possession of Atsushi's body.

 **teramorphousAttire** Today at 23:17

but why

why does it posess atsushi

 **abilityAbiotrophy** Today at 23:17

I think it doesn't **want** to.

I think that it is forced to stay.

 **teramorphousAttire** Today at 23:18

why would it be forced

 **abilityAbiotrophy** Today at 23:18

I don't know.

I heard that sawarineko are usually very weak, but they can become stronger if the circumstances are right.

I know a similar example in which this exact thing happened.

 **teramorphousAttire** Today at 23:18

so

what now

 **abilityAbiotrophy** Today at 23:18

We need to tell Atsushi about it.

That is the first step.

After that, Dazai goes offline. You sigh deeply. How could it come so far?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> abiotrophy - degeneration or loss of function or vitality in an organism or in cells or tissues not due to any apparent injury  
> teramorphous - of abnormal or monstrous form


	7. Epilogue (Akutagawa)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have a confession to make - I never actually *watched* Bakemonogatari. The sawarineko may act differently, but that's also partly justified due to it being a different person and a different universe.

The morning thereafter, you hear someone knocking on the door.

'Hang on, Atsushi, I'll get it.' Atsushi is sitting on the floor under the kotatsu, drinking tea. You walk away and open the door. It's Dazai and Fukuzawa.

'Ah, Dazai. I was kind of expecting you.', You step aside. 'Come in.'

'Do you want some tea, or...'

'Why not.', Fukuzawa speaks. The two sit next to Atsushi under the kotatsu. 'It'll help, I hope.'

After you give Fukuzawa his cup of tea, Dazai speaks up. 'If you wondered why we came here to visit...', He looks at Atsushi. 'We are here for you.'

Atsushi gasps. 'Why?' _Here it comes_ , you think. You inch closer to Atsushi.

'It's about the recent case.' You help him a bit.

'The assassin?', Atsushi asks. 'At night?'

'Yes.', Dazai continues. 'That one. We've come to a close and we now know who the killer is.'

'Oh, really? But why did you come to our house? To discuss the next course of action?' You are holding Atsushi's hand by now, without him noticing it even.

'No...', Dazai sharpens his throat.

'Because you are the assassin.'

It stays silent for a bit. Then it dawns.

'I'm not!', You can see that he is on the verge of crying. 'Why would you think that? I am framed, I swear!'

'Let me continue.', Fukuzawa takes over and takes another sip of his tea. 'You are the killer, but you are not aware of it.'

'Atsushi, have you ever heard of a _sawarineko_?' Dazai brings the conversation to a slightly different, interwoven topic.

'No, never heard of it. What is it?' Atsushi tries his best not to lash out.

'A supernatural, cat-like creature that drains energy from others to survive.', Dazai explains. 'Normally, it's very weak, but can become powerful given the circumstances. And we suspect that you are in some way related to such a sawarineko.' Dazai points to Atsushi with his hand.

Atsushi breathes in and out, then speaks up. 'A few days after we married, I picked up a small cat from the street. It was pure white and it had no tail.' You gasp; you remember that Atsushi did that.

'Yeah, you took it to here. I assumed that its tail was lost in some sort of accident or the like.'

'Anyway, I brought it home. I gave it some food and water and a place to sleep.', Atsushi coughs, then continues talking. 'The day after that, the neighbors were found dead on the floor. The sawarineko killed them by simply touching them, and draining them of life energy. It did that by posessing my body. I remember that fully; and after that, it tried to leave.'

'So that is why...', Fukuzawa moves his hand to his chin. 'So that case is also connected to this. Interesting.'

'However, I didn't let it.', Atsushi closes his eyes. 'You may wonder why, but I'm a bit unstable underneath this.' He points to himself. 'Everything is stressing me out from the inside. I spend the entirity of my childhood in a hellish orphanage; I still suffer from flashbacks and the like. I think it has a name... Furthermore, I saved Yokohama multiple times. Not alone, I know, but I am getting the most credit for it. That duty is very hard for an 18-year old boy to bear. I am stressed out by the work I'm getting. Thus, I did not let the sawarineko escape.'

'And the result was that you started doing this every night.' Dazai fills in. Atsushi silently nods.

'I know how hard it is, Atsushi.', You decide to do your say, from your position as husband. 'But this is not the way to cope with it. It's unhealthy to run at night barefoot, killing everyone you see just to relieve stress.' You were like that once, you remember that very well. However, you never killed people out of a 'coping mechanism'. He is too shy to look at any of you now.

'I know, I know!', He is almost shouting. 'The sawarineko can't be ripped away from me now.'

'Why?' However, on Dazai's question, Atsushi decides not to answer.

You spot that Fukuzawa is done with his tea. 'Shall I put the cup away, or...'

'No, that's not important right now.' he speaks. And so, you decide to stay put for now.

'Why, Atsushi?' Dazai is smart, I know, but this is something he even can't say. After all, he cannot look into minds. He pats Atsushi's shoulder. On that second, something strange happens.

A dark smoke escapes from Atsushi's body, forming into something standing in front of you.

'What...' you stammer, unable to string together a proper sentence.

'You...' Atsushi looks at Dazai, whose expression has shifted into a mix of fear and interest. The smoke has lifted, and Black Atsushi is standing in the room. He doesn't have the same vibe to him as when he was sitting on the roof a few days ago - you're not getting the intrusive thoughts again.

'W͝h̸at͡ ͘ar͜e ̢you͘ ͠do͟ing͢?͘'

'You let him loose?' Fukuzawa looks at Dazai.

'Not exactly, I think...', Dazai says. 'It may be a result of No Longer Human, but only halfly.'

'You must be the sawarineko, then.' Fukuzawa points out. You take a glance at Atsushi. Strangely enough, he doesn't sport any fear.

'E͟x̴ac͡tl͟y.', 'Black Atsushi' speaks. 'At͜s͞us҉hi͡ ͝p̢roj̢ect҉e̛d a͜ll ͘str͠es̶s a͟nd ̷ne͟g̨a͠ti̸v͞iţy͟ ͢on m̷e.' Atsushi doesn't say anything, he just nods.

'You...did?'

'Ye͟s, h̵e d͠i̵d͜.̛' You wonder why Atsushi isn't saying anything, but you realize that the sawarineko may be saying the things Atsushi has hardship in telling you.

You then ask it: 'So you're a sawarineko, plus all of Atsushi's anxiety, fear, negative emotions and his trauma?'

'I͝ ͟a͏m.'

'So that is why you gave me intrusive thoughts saying I should kill myself?', you assume. 'Because Atsushi was so often told he should do that?'

'Ye͏s҉, ͘bu͢ţ i͜n th͜i̛s for̴m ̢Į am̷ weake͝r.̨ I c͜a̷n̡not̸ d͞o ̡that̢ ͟to yo̧u̶ ͘no͢w.͏'

Dazai looks at Fukuzawa. 'What should we do now?'

Fukuzawa coughs, then speaks up again. 'This is the reason why we cannot erase you or kill you, right? You have come to bear every negative emotion Atsushi ever has and had.'

You have inched closer and closer to Atsushi, until he's just in your arms. He still isn't saying anything - not because he is not afraid, but because he is literally unable to say anything out of a bad emotion now. The sawarineko embodies that now. 'We cannot let you live. But we also cannot let you die.', you decide. 'Right now, Atsushi is half the person who he ever was. I think I may hold a solution, but I don't know if you comply to it.'

 'I̴'͜ll ͢l̨is̵te̛n t̛o i̢t.͘' You have thought of a solution from the moment you saw that Atsushi has essentially put half of him on something else.

'What about you merge back into Atsushi? Not like it was before. Going round and killing people is not a good coping mechanism.' you offer.

'I̛ k̶n̕o̸w͠ ͘t͝h̢at͟. ͡I ̵am͟ ͟j̸u̧st a̕ sa͏war̨ine͡ko who͏ ͟w̕a̵nted͡ ̷t̴o pass o͏n.͡ I̸'̶m ̵not̸ ̷ev͏ȩn ̷sup̡po͟s̕ed to ̕be ̷this̴ s͟tro̸n͘g.͝' the sawarineko speaks.

'That's why I am saying this. You give Atsushi back his 'dark side' as we could put it. You won't ever have to drain energy from people because Atsushi never needed that. How does that sound?'

'G͝oo̷d..͞.bu̧t͘ h͝ow̡ wou҉l̴d̸ ͠we d͟o ̶su̕c͜h̶ ̨a̷ th҉i̸ng?҉' You turn to look at Atsushi again as he suddenly starts talking again.

'I-I may try...', He still stutters, but it is something. 'I might just be able to reconcile with my trauma and my stress... and not run away from it anymore or put it somewhere.'

'I͠f y͜ou̸ ͝t̛h͘ink ͢y̸o̧u'͟re str҉ong enou͏g͡h t̢o ͘do ͟t͡h͘at͏, ͘you co̡u̸l͘d̛ r̨epr̶es̵s̢ me ̵ųnt͟il I'm m͘er͝g҉ed ̴with you̵.', the sawarineko proposes. 'I͘ ̨won͟'t come ou̢t͘ e̶ver͘y ̸n͠i̵ght ̨an̛ymore ͝if̵ yo҉u f͘ound͝ h͞elp͝.'

'We will try to help you, Atsushi.', Fukuzawa says. 'And I am saying that as the President of the Agency. If we can't, I'll force the Agency to help.'

'Thank you.', Atsushi sounds like he's back on track again. 'The Agency has started to feel like a home to me. I felt that more recently, since I 'got rid' of my stress.'

'That's a good thing. Don't let that slip away just because you're about to get it back now.' Dazai advises him. Atsushi simply nods.

'No͡w,̴ t͝h̡e̸n.' The sawarineko walks towards Atsushi, who stands up. It then transforms into black smoke again and fuses back with Atsushi.

'Atsushi! Do you feel anything different?' Dazai is the first to speak. Atsushi examines his neck and chest with his hands.

'I...', He unbuttons his vest. 'Look.' A tattoo of a white tiger adorns his upper body.

'That wasn't there before.', you notice. 'That must be a sign that it fused with your soul.'

'I feel definately better now.', Atsushi smiles. 'Sounds strange, huh? I thought I was better off when all I could feel was happiness, but I was wrong. Without my dark parts, I am not whole. And I need to cope with it in a healthy way.'

'For example, you can seek distraction...' You already know what Dazai is implying.

* * *

_Sleep to dream tonight_   
_Fill the empty spaces that shadows left behind_   
_You and I, will create a new world deep within our minds_

_Our reality sometimes may seem, imaginary_   
_Happiness is here within our reach, and no it can't be seen_   
_The world created in my dreams, imaginary_   
_I still feel all the same release, imaginary_

_Galaxies of lights_   
_Surround and break down, all the fears the shadows left behind_   
_Escape tonight_   
_To a clear blue sky, just close your eyes and wave goodbye_

_Our reality sometimes may seem, imaginary_   
_Happiness is here within our reach, and no it can't be seen_   
_The world created in my dreams, imaginary_   
_I still feel all the same release, imaginary_

\- Brennan Heart, [Imaginary](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ef6eK-9KYt8)


End file.
